Last Day in Sweden: Boats ‘n Hoes (cruisin’ down the river or lake or sea or whatever this giant body of water is…)
August 15, 2023, Captain’s Log: Setting sail on the water. Well not ‘sail’, as it’s a boat, with a motor and all that. Also, there’s not even one ‘sail’. I digress… We will be making our way up and down a large body of water; could be a lake, might be a river. The Baltic Sea? Couldn’t tell ya, directionally AND geographically challenged makes for story telling that much harder though. Facts. Anyway…I chewed a few Dramamine tablets for ‘sea’ sickness prevention. I give myself 42 minutes, tops, before I pass out and just kind of slip overboard while leaning sideways. They gave some sort of talk about life jackets and protocols but I was writing this so I have no idea where said life jackets are stored or what this protocol is. I am though, fairly certain, there are no sharks, or alligators, in this country. As far as what Siri just told me while quickly checking for accuracy. She was all bitchy about it though as if I was asking absurd questions. Seriously, who comes to Sweden already knowing what ocean, or lake, or river wildlife could lead to your potential untimely death? Ugh, she seriously needs an attitude adjustment APPLE 😏
Apparently we make numerous stops along the way and are intended to leave the safety of the boat, steady oneself enough to make it to countless docks, and walk miles to see museums and churches and art galleries something about Vikings or some shit that’s in Swedish and it’ll just have to be a surprise because that’s just too much to translate via Google with shorty cell service on the water. I’m telling you right now, they will be laying me flat on a plank, strapping me down, and lifting me like a fallen Greek God from boat to dock because my coordination is entirely nonexistent. If this is not part of the package, I should probably say my farewells now. So like yah; bye ✌🏻
RANDOM LEARNED FACT WHILE ON BOARD THIS SHIP THATS NOT A SHIP AT ALL…- The term Stockholm syndrome came out of a bank robbery and hostage situation that lasted six days in Stockholm, Sweden, per BBC. On Aug. 23, 1973, career criminal Jan-Erik Olsson fired a machine gun in a bank in the heart of Stockholm and began his attempt at robbery. Nils Bejerot, a Swedish criminologist and psychiatrist, actually invented the term after the Stockholm police asked him for assistance with analyzing the victims’ reactions to the 1973 bank robbery and their status as hostages.
