Thailand Adventure Diary: Part 9
Greetings from the US of A 👋🏻 …not from Australia, where most of Thailand assumed I hailed from…
They let me back in. Wasn’t even detained for more than 8 minutes (that’s how long the body search took this time..). I must say, super unexpected turnout there.
As you probably know, I’ve been in Thailand for the past 2 weeks. I’ve just returned to the US, and to toilets that have seats..and toilet paper… I’ll explain in a moment…
If Thailand is on your ‘before you kick the bucket’ list like it was on mine (and it should definitely be on yours..), I thought I would leave you with a few helpful details that you won’t find in the guidebooks 👉🏻
1.) Tomboy or masculine females: you’re a boy in Thailand. For the past two weeks, I was commonly referred to as “Sir”. I did not mind the confusion at all, until I was attempting to utilize the toilet and was blocked from the women’s room and detoured to the men’s room every time I needed to use it. Not to brag or anything, but, I can do many things fairly well. Standing at a urinal and not pissing on myself, is not one of those things.
2.) Toilets basically refer to large holes in the ground. In most cases there is nothing to flush. There is a bucket or pool of water with a large spoon beside the toilet hole for you to use to ‘flush’ your mess.
3.) Paper, be it toilet or napkins, is not given freely. It’s a struggle to find toilet paper in the vicinity of a toilet. Buy a pack of tissues, napkins, or roll of TP at a 7-11 and keep it in your bag. For everything. Or learn to drip dry.
4.) HAND SANITIZER. Bring it everywhere. Always. Soap is very uncommon. ‘Washing’ your hands means putting them under a stream of water then air drying them. Clearly not the best route for sanitization. Hence, the sanitizer.
5.) There is, literally, a 7-11 on every single corner of every single island and mainland, in the country of Thailand. 7-11 is the Starbucks of the US. But like, 83x even MORE saturated. It’s very convenient.
6.) ICE. Do not consume any beverages containing it. Speaking from a 5 day experience. Ice, is made from water. Crazy concept, I know. Water in Thailand, unless bottled, should never be consumed by foreigners. Trust me, your intestinal system can not handle the situation. The water utilized for ice, is for sure not bottled. Get used to drinking beverages at room temperature.
7.) Do not settle for the price advertised. You can bargain for absolutely everything. Set your own price. Then walk away. You will be followed and the item of your desire will be bagged up and shoved into your hands and the predetermined amount you were willing to pay will be accepted.
8.) Tuk Tuk’s: best mode of transportation. Both for convenience, and entertainment. Also, on the islands normal taxi cars are nonexistent. And choosing the back of a motorbike is the equivalent of playing Russian roulette. Just take the Tuk Tuk.
9.) Food is sold on the street. On every street. In every single location you go. Beware of the non-fried foods that have been sitting out for unknown lengths of time. Your safest bet is to chose the shit that is visibly being cooked. Either way, keep antibiotics in your bag just in case.
10.) Those antibiotics I mentioned, they can be obtained at any of the millions of pharmacies. Just tell the employee behind the counter what you’re looking for (it helps to rub your belly and make groaning faces due to the language barrier..). When you start to feel not so hot, turn to those antibiotics immediately. Whether it’s a parasite or bacteria, you’ll be in hell without the drugs. While you’re at it, stock up on antacids if you have a sensitive tummy.
11.) Bangkok. It’s not as crazy as the ‘Hangover’ made it out to be. But it’s up there, depending on which Red Light District you find yourself wandering- there are 3 main zones.
12.) Prosititution is legal. Which means, even if you’re not intending to pay for ‘servicing’, whatever bar you’re sitting at, you will be pampered by semi-attractive women. Be careful, the bar will attempt to tack on a charge for a ‘lady drink’. Those women pampering you want your money any way they can get it so you’ll be pressured. Hard. I must say, the attention isn’t horrible. With it being so hot even at night, to have someone sit on your lap and wipe you down with a cold washcloth is rather nice.
13.) PING PONG SHOWS. Guys, these shows have absolutely nothing to do with sports. The things you will see, can never ever be forgotten. Don’t do it. Just trust me on this one… 🤯
